Being a good parent is like sledding with small kids.

I came to a realization yesterday as I was driving down the mountain from a "sledding" trip.  Sledding is is in quotations because out of the 3 of us that went, there were only 2 rides down the hill.
We geared up in record time, 2 toddlers and a Mom in full snowsuit regalia in under 20 minutes, then hopped in the car and made it up the canyon in time for it to start snowing.  Even though I had to reattach Heidi's boots to her feet 3 times before getting out of the car- the day looked promising.

But sledding was not to be, the snow was powdery and deep and mittens and boots would not stay on fingers and toes.  The company was great, we had hot coco and doughnuts, chairs to sit on and lots of sleds.  Not to mention my dear brother Michael took full responsibility for one of the kids at all times so my hands wouldn't be overflowing with children.  Heidi had a fast run down the hill and then decided she didn't like sledding after all.  Alex was happy to be pulled around or pushed down the hill, but with so many bigger kids zooming past- she got a bit scared and was content to just sit.  Once Heidi's toes got painfully cold I called it a day and packed everyone into the car with candy canes to lift their spirits.
  As I drove down the hill, admiring the snowy trees and mountains and happy to have been able to leave the house at least, I realized that I hadn't even sat on a sled, let alone zoomed down the hill.  I wasn't disappointed at all, I had enjoyed watching the others and playing with the kids, and it hadn't even crossed my mind to sled down the hill once.  I started to think about this.  I should revise the title of the post to "Being a good MOM......" because I'm not really sure what it is like to be a Dad.

   As a girl who grew up to be a mom, I realized that the first 18 years of my life were very self serving.
  As a child I did what my parents told me to do and as I grew I was able to make more choices for myself and do what I thought best.

As a teenager I was self involved and as High school came to a end I had to think about what I was going to do, where I would go, and what was best for ME.

College was about the same, planning MY future, looking for a husband, living My dreams, etc.

                                                                  Then I got married.

   When you first get married you think that your life is SO different from when you were single.  It's hard associating with single friends because it seems you suddenly have nothing to talk about.  You have this other person with you all the time and you need to learn how to compromise and work together.  Then you have kids.

   When you finally have kids you realize how completely different your life is from when you didn't have kids.  You realize that the 'singles' and the 'marrieds without kids' have more in common with each other than you will ever have with both of them combined and you REALLY have nothing to talk about.  You realize that even though you were married and learning compromise, you COULD still do things for your SELF.  There was money to be spent on things YOU liked, freedom to see and do whatever YOU wanted, and if you were lucky enough to have married your best friend, life was a fun game and worst case scenario you and your best friend would go live in a tent in the woods and hunt for food.

   Children are the game changer for a women.  There is no longer a YOU.  YOU exist solely to take care of, teach, and SERVE your child.  Your first name disappears and you become X's Mom.  Your free time disappears and you find yourself choosing between sweet mind numbing TV or a shower during the children's nap time.

You plan your days, your meals, your clothes, and your fun, around the children.  The minute you wake up, until the minute the children are asleep (and lots of times even after that) you are constantly thinking of, interacting with, and loving your children.

When there is some money to spare, you spend it on them, because as a MOM, your joy is suddenly dependent on THEM.  You become this completely selfless creature, and what makes you happy isn't really what makes YOU happy anymore.  It's actually wonderful.
   I don't think anyone can ever understand or become completely selfless until they are a parent and I dare say that the highest level of selfless love attainable comes from being a Mom (after Jesus that is).

   So back to sledding.  Sledding with kids is a completely selfless affair.  You can try to sled by yourself, and may even get a run or two in without the kids, but if you really want to have fun, and if you want anyone else in your family to have fun, you are going to have to sit on the sidelines.  Putting gloves on time and time again,  adjusting boots and grabbing blankets, warming hands with your breath and pouring hot coco.  Dragging sleds up the hill and wiping away tears.  And at the end of the day everyone will be exhausted and happy and so will you.

   So that's my analogy for the day.  Sometimes it's so hard to sit on the sidelines and watch your youth slip away while you are changing bums and playing barbies.  To see friends becoming "Something", travel and do great things.  But someday the kids will be grown and I will have a lifetime of joy in one large pocket as I start to fill my other pocket with world travel, education and my notebook of  "someday' s....".  Because being a Mom is really fun, and looking back, I wouldn't trade where I am now with anyone.  Life is made for moving forward I've got two fantastic teachers that keep me busy ALL DAY LONG.  There is no way I would trade a career or world travel for the little giggles, and finger paint messes I enjoy.  The simple joys of cooking with Mom, and making forts won't last forever and I want my kids to look back on their childhood the way that I look back on mine.... Years of laughter, adventures, and fun.

Now that I'm a mother I realize that my own Mom isn't in most of the pictures, she didn't go on the hunting trips or a lot of the hikes.  She was the puppet master, hidden behind the curtains waiting with hugs and smiles, hot meals and consistency.  She was the one who packed for the trips and stayed back with the little kids while we ran off with Dad.  She stayed up late teaching fractions, or worrying about kids past curfew.  She did all the invisible jobs of keeping the drawers stocked with clean clothes and making our lunches for school.

Now that I'm finally in her shoes I can see how hard that must have been and I can also see that it's going to be 20 or so years before I get any thanks from my own kids.  So thank you Mom, for making sure I had a great childhood.  For staying home to raise me and putting your "life" on hold to play with us, teach us and raise us right.  And I'm sorry it took 27 years for me to realize that you are the unsung Hero. I know not everyone has a choice, but I'm glad that I wasn't raised by daycare and I'll gladly put everything I desire on hold for 20 years so that my kids can get the best start I can give them.  Because I love them that much and a whole lot more.