March 17th

Post by Tyler (note, this introduction is meant as a disclaimer). That's right, Kristen is no longer at the helm. I will try not to make this a disagreeable experience. Let me begin with March 17th. This is the day that my wife, with the help of an anesthesiologist, two surgeons, a scrub nurse and an obgyn nurse brought a small squirming purple creature into the world. I guess I should also add that said creature was wet and gooey. Upon careful consideration, my Kristen and I have decided to give this creature a name; it is now known as Alexandria Kara Brady. I suppose I should also add that the creature is female, but I am already getting ahead of myself. Let me backtrack to where the adventure of March 17th began. It was four-thirty in the morning when peacefully sleeping Tyler was brought into consciousness via some gentle Kristen nudges. This, I must admit, is not so deplorable a fate, for my blissful slumber was only destined to last a few minutes longer anyway, and the way I see it, better my wife than that horrible alarm clock, oh how I hate the sound!
We dressed and were off. Where? To a place which specializes in the birth of all such little creatures. The obgyn nurse obliged us by completing all of the requisite checking in, while an anesthesiologist prepared to harpoon my poor wife. I don’t know that I have ever seen her so pale in all my life. I take this as strong evidence that I am a good husband! If not so, I should expect to see such paleness regularly as a result of my own actions. Once numb from chest down, she was lead across the hall on her chariot. I followed closely wearing my handsome new space suit.
Moments later, I enjoyed, not really, the scene of what I will describe as "methodical disembowelment." Kristen's paleness increased. So did mine! I will liken this experience to one that occurred not so long ago in far away Montana, my first chicken butchering. I believe my paleness was, in great respect, correlated to the similarities between my wife's innards and the chicken's. We did not have to wait long before I was holding this new creature in my arms and with tears in my eyes celebrating its strange beauty. My wife also, I suppose, would have great cause to celebrate, but she was still intimately concerned with the state of her exposed entrails.
So, that is the story of how I came to have, in my very own personal possession, a cute little poop maker.