End of April

This past weekend we were able to convince Tyler to give up a day of studying and just be.  He has been working 3, 12 hour shifts a week at the ER in Butler (about an hour away) the past 2 weeks and now that we know to avoid back to back shifts, life has settled into a nice little routine where we get plenty of Daddy park time and he probably doesn't get in as much studying as he should.

 We took our day and drove over to Johnstown to see where the big flood occurred.  Tyler has been reading a book on the flood and it was really neat to see the area after reading/hearing about it from him.  The kids loved the open sidewalks to run around on, walls to climb and display buttons to push.

 Every single time we go to the library Quinn races the bigger girls to the handicap door to push the button and then runs in yelling "push button, PUSH BUTTON" to the elevator and then inside the elevator.  It's a crazy little stampede of bodies fighting over who gets to push the buttons first and always ending in them all pushing the buttons anyway.  We normally only annoy 97% of the elderly patrons doing this.

 It was a nice sunny day although still a bit chilly with the wind, but I've nearly given up the skirt/dress fight now that they have Quinn on their side and I'm completely outnumbered.

 Quinn is big enough to want to climb on the walls and "balance beams" that the bigger girls attempt.  She is also stubborn enough to insist on trying it alone.

 We enjoyed the museum at the Dam site and had a picnic lunch in front of a restored old home.  The girls ran up and down the ramp 100 times laughing like hyenas.  Afterwards we took a detour to the Flight 93- 9/11 memorial.  It was pretty windy at that point and had a very solemn and respectful air about it.  That didn't match well with 3 little girls who just wanted to run along the low wide walls and pick up all the mementos left.  They did discover a spider on the sidewalk that they followed and named "boogy eyes" because they couldn't decide if Quinn was saying that or "poke it's eyes" which she has been saying a LOT lately, followed by someone or thing getting poked in the eyes.  We talk about Boogy eyes daily.

 This week we were also able to go along on a homeschool outing to a local family owned farm.  It was very different from the ones out West I've seen, mostly because it was on hills!  Alex and Heidi got to feed a calf, which they decided was hard and heavy work.  Quinn got kissed by said calf a few times and did not enjoy it much.

 She was all about the chickens thought.  Quinn and I hung out together waddling behind the rest of the group and I didn't know where Alex and Heidi were most of the time.  The farmer couple were so kind to all the kids and let them "help out" doing all kinds of things and just let us all roam around everywhere we wanted.

 They had about 10 GIANT pigs.  This pig is huge,   the picture doesn't do it justice, and it was the smallest of the lot.  It was so fat and had such short legs that they don't even fence this one in because it just can't go anywhere.  The others were split up in groups of 2 or 3 and had areas fenced out by electric fence up on the hill among the trees.  So many trees and bushes and hills- they had 15 acres but so little of it was functional it seemed.

Whenever I did spot my children Alex was carrying this rooster.  It had been raised in a home and was as tame as a cat.  She held it for at east an hour and carried it everywhere we went.  In the end she declared it her best friend and said we had to get another rooster so we could go back and trade for that one.  They had about 150 free range chickens and then another 50 "commercial" chickens they kept in a movable pen.  Seeing the 2 varieties side by side was pretty disturbing.  The commercial chickens were so front heavy with their genetically engineered larger breasts that they couldn't walk very well and mostly just lay down.  They just looked weird.
     Quinn wanted to see all the animals and keep up with the group, but walking up those steep hills showed me how completely out of shape I am, especially when she wanted to be held.  We compromised with piggy back rides.  Quinn was quietly observant and interested in all the animals.  Alex clung to her rooster and claimed it as her own, and Heidi was everywhere with everyone doing everything.
After the kids helped gather the eggs we had a picnic lunch on the lawn with the goats and chickens and went home with 4 eggs that Alex was certain would hatch out her next best friend.  I've never seen her so excited about anything.  That is until we discovered we didn't' have any old light bulbs that would work, and actually thought through what would happen if they did hatch.  The next morning I was woken up at 6am by an excited Alex who claimed that she had dreamed and prayed all night that the eggs would hatch, then came down and snuggled them all through breakfast.  I let her down as gently as I could and gave her 10 minutes to mourn where she sat with them on the couch and cried her eyes out.  At that point I took them away and she ran to her room to cry away her sorrows.  Everyday I fear the teenage years more and more.
     We have had a few good days of great weather and been able to play with the pastor's daughter across the alley.  Tyler helped them out with yard work this past weekend and we had another campfire and dinner potluck.  They are very kind and their daughter mixes in with our brood just right at 3 years old.  It's so great to have kind neighbors close enough where the kids can wander to their yard and be safe and have fun.  We have been practicing soccer and baseball at the park a lot as well, now that Alex is good enough at hitting the ball that our windows are at stake and the ball routinely flies into yards not directly touching our own.  Heidi is coming along as well and Quinn just likes to chase after things and dogs and run away from us without looking back.
     We have only 6 weeks until the baby is due and i've stalled out on spring cleaning just as my physical therapy is working the best.  I'm feeling so much better, but perhaps it's because I've given up hauling the laundry around, scrubbing the tub and vacuuming.  That's got to be great for any body right?
      Alex loves to snuggle up with my belly and talk to the baby and try to get him to answer questions through kicking.  She has declared him Tommy and asked me every single day if that is what we can name him.  I like this suggestion a lot more than Flower or Snowflake so she might just get her way.  She is looking quite like a little lady running around in her long skirts with her long hair and those summer freckles popping out.  She is very grown up all of a sudden it seems.
     Heidi tells me everyday that my belly is so huge that it's going to pop and that I better stop eating food.  She always assesses it's size after dinner time and makes some hilarious comment that is going to be a lot less hilarious in a few months.  Heidi and Quinn have become best frenemies and we have discovered that they day goes a lot better if they use each other to get their energy out in the morning- usually wrestling, always instigated by Quinn.  Heidi also asked last week if the baby was going to have light skin or dark skin and when I asked why it mattered she made it very clear that she was NOT a fan or dark skin and it became clear after some discussion that this was related to 3 unruly and mean boys in her primary class.  I thought we were doing a great job at raising unbiased children who got to interact with a variety of children of different colors and backgrounds- but upon further investigation and a few more choice Heidi comments this week I've seem I'm wrong.
      Quinn was a Monster on Monday and an Angel on Tuesday.  Still trying to figure her out.  She has entered the stage of willful disobedience and n longer comes when I call, or bribe, or beg or threaten.  She wakes up happy but it's usually only minutes before she is angry as a hornet at me for not fulfilling some demand, or hitting a sister or pulling hair.  She loves breakfast but only if it is prepared to her specifications, oatmeal with the honey put on first and then blueberries, but not mixed in.  Or cereal with just the right amount of milk.  When I can mentally take the screaming fits that come after, I try not to give in because I know it will just make it all the worse when baby comes.  I fear that day.  Seeing how possessive she can be over a stick at the park or if another child walks to me at church makes me fear for baby boy.  Alex and Heidi have already been lectured on how they will need to be protectors and guardians over their little brother and I'm hoping to train Heidi to be the number 1 Quinn distractor.  We are going to need a game plan for this, the 3rd child is NOT ready to give up her title as Queen Quinn.
    As I sit and type in my lounge chair this afternoon, Tyler is studying at the desk in front of me and all 3 kids are asleep.  Yesterday we were outside from 10 am until 8pm, soaking up every warm minute the sun gave us.  The girls helped me make chicken soup and apple crisp and we enjoyed a wonderful warm meal while enjoying a cool breeze.  Then daddy arrived home with surprise doughnuts and we played "baseball" in the yard until dark.  Bedtime strung out while we laughed about mommy's tummy and daddy goofed off with the kids.  We woke up to a bit of sunshine this morning and seized the day before predicted thunderstorms arrived (still not here) Alex studied genetic diseases with Daddy while Quinn and Heidi read an anatomy book together and then tickle fought.  We all went to the park and played catch and pitch and soccer and swings for  hours and then returned home as a friend was walking past and snagged a few more sunny moments with sidewalk chalk and a wagon.  Lunch together, fairytales with the kids and then some more playtime before exhaustion hit the household.  So much joy.

Beginning of April

When I look to the future it seems like June will never arrive, but when I look back on the past I'm amazed at how quickly the time has flown this past month!  After Grandma and Grandpa Brady left we had about a week before Grandma Asay and Grandma Sanderson showed up!  They were in state for a Genealogy trip and we were lucky enough to steal quite a few days away for ourselves.
  Unfortunately for them, but heaven sent for us, they showed up at the best/worst possible time.  That Thursday Alex had woken up throwing up, and Quinn had a runny nose and cough that kept getting worse and worse as the day went on.  By the time it came to pick the Grandmas up from the airport I was torn in 3 different directions!  Quinn needed to get to the doctor because her inhaler wasn't doing anything, but Alex was still throwing up, and we needed to get to the airport!  Luckily Tyler was able to get off work early to go to the airport and poor Alex got tossed in the car so we could go to the Dr. Quinn threw up in the car on the way, and Alex again at the dr. office.  We looked like quite the rag tag bunch with me waddling along trying to manage my circus, in the rain.  The dr. told us to up our inhaler dose and see if that would work, if not then to take her to the ER.
    Tyler and the Grandmas showed up with dinner and we had a great 20 minutes before Quinn started going downhill and Tyler rushed her to the hospital.  She was throwing up and having a very hard time breathing and ended up passing completely out in the ER waiting room (and not from exhaustion).  That got the nurses attention and Quinn a room quickly!  After 3 hours of breathing treatments she started to respond just before they were going to admit her to the ICU.  Tyler and Quinn were admitted that evening and stayed the night, then I switched him in the morning so he could finally get some sleep!  Thank goodness the Grandmas were there so we didn't have to worry about the other 2 kids at all!  Quinn and I were there the rest of the day and were finally discharged Friday evening with instructions to see a Pulmenologist as soon as we could.  We got to enjoy Saturday and Sunday with the Grandmas and took a drive around town to see the sights and visit the big Allegheny cemetery.  It was a windy cold day Saturday but we went to Clavon's old fashioned ice cream parlor for some treats and had a fantastic time!  A must visit.  Monday the Grandma's left to do some genealogy adventuring for the week and the girls and I readied ourselves for Tyler's birthday!       Poor Tyler, all I remember about the day is that we had brownies and ice cream and the girls bought him a lego dragon and they played lego's all evening with him.
      The rest of that week was crazy because Quinn started throwing up again, then Heidi and then myself and Tyler.  It was so incredibly stressful but we were so being watched over by angels!  A friend randomly brought over dinner 2 days and freezer meals for another 2, and then another friend ran to the store to get milk and cereal for us when that ran out and the next day another friend brought over dinner again out of the blue!  I didn't have to cook for an entire week!  In the middle of all the vomit, Tyler took Quinn to her Pulmenology apt and it was decided that she might have not had pneumonia in the first place but just Asthma this whole time.  I was feeling completely overwhelmed at this point and so when Tyler called to report, said she would need breathing treatments twice a day for the next year, and on top of it she had an ear infection, I just cried and cried.  Pretty sure pregnancy hormones were at play on top of all the stress.

 On Quinn's birthday I was a sick zombie so we decided to celebrate on our Conference/Easter Saturday.  The morning was spent celebrating Quinn with helium balloons and special cereal.  We have a tradition of the birthday person getting to drink out of the birthday gobble and so far this birthday season Quinn has stolen the precious cup from every single person on their birthday.  She was very happy to have it for her own this day, and chose chocolate cereal for breakfast.

 Daddy got her a stuffed work and sand toys, which was funny because I had gotten her sand toys as well and so it was determined that we would use the tube sand that weighed down daddy's truck and an old rubbermaid container to make Quinn a birthday sandbox.  She LOVES it, especially now that the weather is much warmer.

 Alex and Heidi each bought Quinn a robotic chicken wind up toy.

 And we got her a squishy turtle because she loves the turtle song so much.  She calls it tim.

 Here is a shot of Heidi and little Heidi in her sandbox.

 The sun came out in-between conference sessions and we had an Easter egg hunt.  The kids each had 20 eggs to find but after about 5 Quinn discovered the candy inside and just sat and ate hers.

 We hadn't had much of a chance to be in the backyard this spring so it was a mess and a real trick to find those eggs.

 In between sessions we also ran to the grocery store and had our cake and ice-cream!

Quinn LOVES strawberries and whipped cream and ice-cream so I didn't even bother to make her a cake.  She wasn't at all interested in Alex's birthday cake so I didn't feel guilty.  

 After 3 previous birthday's that month you could tell she had figured out the singing the birthday song and blowing out the candles connection and she wanted to do it over and over again.

 It was so much fun celebrating Quinn, I think we all spoiled her in our own way that day.

 Here is a great shot of Daddy's spoiling, and his hand.  He got scratched while helping restrain a patient in the psych ward at work the day before.  He comes home with lots of interesting tales from work in the psych ward- I don't think it's a job I want him to have.

 The Grandma's came back that evening and we got to spend Easter Sunday with them as well as Monday before they took off again, then they were back on Thursday before leaving Friday.  We did so much but I got so few pictures!

 We stayed up late Thursday night reading books and talking.

 The girls have declared it Grandparent season and I think they are waiting for the next visit from someone, it's been such an exciting month!

 Quinn loves oatmeal and blueberries with honey and whenever she eats this particular breakfast she props her right foot up on the table.  I had to get a picture so I would remember.  She also is obsessed with and freaked out by bugs of any kind.  When she sees any speck she starts gasping and yelling "bugs, BUGS, BUG!!"
Saturday was the girls first day of soccer this year and Heidi's first day ever.  She was so excited she woke up early and ran into everyone's bedroom saying "Wake up, it's soccer day!"  We walked to the park, which was a joke because the girls were on their birthday scooters and I was waddling slower than a duck (Alex's comparison).  Tyler pushed Quinn on the swings and things went well until Alex and Heidi were split up and put on different scrimmage teams- this devolved into tears after about 10 minutes but with a bit of bribery all was set right again and we enjoyed some extra time afterwards playing with friends, hanging out at the park and chatting like a real family with no looming tests or school deadlines.

We spent Saturday afternoon piling the truck up with stuff for goodwill and then dropped it off and hit the grocery store.  Such a family day!  Quinn can open the fridge and if she isn't trying to break into yogurts then this is what she does.

We upgraded the sandbox to a plastic swimming pool and the weather has been so warm that Tyler put in the AC units already!  It's still rainy and cloudy but now that we have the sandbox I can send the kids out on the porch, shut the gate and let them play in the sand rain or shine while watching from my lounge chair through the open door.  It's flipped the tides on home life and attitudes- amazing what a little freedom and sand can do.  

Alex had her homeschool evaluation and officially passed 1st grade.  I wanted to end the year with a bang, but after weeks of sickness and grandparent visits our schedule was all off and it would have been a nightmare to try to establish any habits again just to end a few days later.  So we called it and are enjoying our summer vacation.  I decided that this was the best choice anyway because I want some time to just enjoy my kids as a Mom before we add another and jump into the stress of packing and baby and moving.

I did a few physical therapy sessions and can happily say that I'm cured!  Well, at least of most of the day time hip pain which is HUGE!  The day after Quinn was in the hospital I could barely walk at all, it was almost a joke, a very painful and terrible joke.  After getting adjusted and getting a maternity belt that works great and doing all these little exercises everyday I can now walk down the hall with only normal pregnancy pain and not debilitating hip pain.  Rolling over in bed is still nearly impossible but things are SO much better.

Things are mostly rainy and warm now with a few sunny days and some partly cloudy days mixed in.  The girls and I have been listening to Anne of Green Gables in the car as we drive around town and I think even Quinn enjoys it.  We have decided that Heidi is a little Anne.  We are constantly rearranging the carseats and trying to find a way that works so Heidi can buckle herself, Quinn is on the outside so I can get her in easily, and everyone is happy.  I think to myself everyday how I wish we had bought a van instead, and then I cringe and remember I don't want a van, and then I spent 10 minutes getting the kids in the car and swear I'm never leaving the house again.

I'm currently 32 weeks pregnant which is just crazy.  I thought it would never come and we are nearly on the home stretch.  In some ways I feel we have left the worst behind and things are only going to get better, and then I look around the house and remember we are moving and we don't know where, and there is the packing up of an entire home to do plus the actual delivery of the baby on top of the last miserable weeks to endure and the hormones that hit plus recover after that.  It's so easy to get overwhelmed that I'm just trying to enjoy one day at a time and not look past the next week.  I enjoy the weekly dates to the grocery store with Tyler- the girls get watched in the Eagle's Nest and Tyler and I stroll down the isles with Quinn who is usually adorable or a monster, never much in-between.  I don't think we will ever get to do that again once we move.  

We made friends with the neighbors across the ally and one the house over, and have enjoyed 2 minute walks to the park and visits to all the amazing parks around the city.  Spring is such a wonderful time to be in Pittsburgh.  We had a campfire at the neighbors house and it was just so nice to finally be making neighborhood friends and really feeling like we are fitting in, it kills me.  Tyler and I were lamenting our moving plans and then I found a deer tick on Quinn while I was putting her in her crib and it washed all the good feelings away.  We woke up the other girls to check them for ticks and Tyler pulled the gross little thing off Quinn's arm with tweezers while I googled lyme disease.  

March

The last Saturday in February we took the kids to the Zoo to see the Parade of Penguins!  Alex declared she would take her camera and as we were getting ready to leave I caught this moment.  Alex was trying to take a picture of her and Heidi and their penguins all together.  Their first selfie.  It was adorable and hilarious.

 Alex with her camera was like watching mini me.  "Heidi, go stand by that sign so I can take your picture."  Unfortunately this is as far as we got before her battery died.

 Since the sun was shining and it wasn't completely cold and miserable, just mostly, there were a lot of people at the Zoo and we didn't have stellar spots for the walk.  I thought Quinn would love the experience but she was pretty uninterested with the whole thing.  She had been recovering from a week of Pneumonia and constant misery so I suppose I don't blame her.  An ER visit with Daddy in the middle of the night because of difficulty breathing confirmed our fears that this "cold" was something a bit more than a cold.  That week we sat in my big chair together all day every day while I over saw homeschool and we watched Wild Kratts and Daniel Tiger.  We ended up taking her to the doctor a few days later to get a stronger antibiotic because the first meds weren't enough, and she also has an inhaler that we have had to use a few times since when she gets wheezy and can't breath well.  The Dr. won't diagnose her with Asthma until she is older, but at this point it looks like a possibility.

 Last week we had sun in the forecast and the kids got to play in the back yard for the first time in nearly a year.  It was a wonderfully warm day and got us excited for spring.  A few days later there was more sun expected so we made park plans and it was a LOT colder!  This didn't stop the kids from enjoying the Blue Slide Park though.  It's one of my new favorite parks I've decided.

 We had been keeping Grandma and Grandpa's upcoming visit a secret for over a month and on Friday we declared it a fun day and took the kids to the library in the morning and then on a drive in the afternoon.  Alex is pretty sharp and once she recognized the airport she started quizzing me on who we were getting.  We parked and went inside just in time to greet the Brady's as they came down the escalator.  The kids couldn't stop smiling, they were so excited to see Grandma and Grandpa!  Alex and Heidi latched onto Grandma's hands and Quinn walked into Grandpa's arms and they all stayed that way for the next 5 days!

 Saturday morning Tyler and his Dad went shooting at a range nearby while the girls and I worked on Alex's birthday cake.  She had drawn a picture of what she wanted her cake to look like and I was a bit surprised to see 3 layers and shamrocks all over it!  When the boys got back we drove to Boyce Park to get a tour of the history of Maple Syrup.  It was a rainy day and not quite the event I had expected but it was free and I learned a lot about "sugaring".

 The guide mostly talked about the history of maple syrup and the kids got to put hot rocks into a hollowed out log like the indians and settlers did to boil the sap into syrup.

 They seemed to enjoy that part the most, and seeing the sap run from the tree into the bucket.

 Sunday was church and afterwards Grandma taught Alex and I the tricks to making her fried chicken and gravy and then we feasted!  Alex had said that this was her favorite Grandma meal (mine also) and so we got some cooking lessons to learn the secret.  Monday Tyler was off to work and so Grandma and Grandpa and I took the kids to Target to have a mini "baby shower" with a couple of gift cards that were bought with the funds donated by good friends and family in Utah, it was the sweetest thing!  I felt completely loved and it was nice to splurge a little an get a couple items brand new for baby boy that I probably wouldn't have gotten.  I'm super excited about a little church outfit with vest I found, and the cutest yellow raincoat that I may have bought a bit bit so Quinn could share it.  Monday afternoon we took Quinn to the Dr. because she had been having a hard time breathing Sunday, and then took Grandma and Grandpa to the strip district to wander the street and shops and get some popcorn from the Popcorn Factory!  It was so much fun especially because the weather was perfect and the sidewalks weren't crowded and we just wandered down the sidewalk eating delicious popcorn and chatting and getting St. Patricks Day shirts!  For our FHE activity we decorated the house for Alex's birthday.  Tyler did an amazing job of filling in all the little touches, like decorating the stairs with animals.

 Alex woke up at 5am on her birthday while Daddy was getting ready for work, so she naturally slept in while we tried to keep Quinn out of the kitchen so she wouldn't destroy the decorations before Alex saw them.  I had to go wake Alex up and we went down and all enjoyed Lucky Charms while she opened her gifts.  She had asked for bug catching things and got a big vacuum and collection kit things as well as a scooter.  The other thing she had requested was for the birthday goblins to hide clues at the Natural History museum like last year, so the goblins had done lots of preparation only to find out just before leaving that the museum was closed Tuesday!!!! We decided to go to the park instead but it was SO windy and cold!  So we diverted once again to a picnic at the mall play place.  Alex seemed happy, so I was happy.  That afternoon we put Quinn down for her nap and while Grandpa and Heidi watched Tinkerbell movies, Grandma and Alex and I snuck off to see Cinderella in the Theater!  

 We came home in time to make Hawiann Haystacks for dinner, Alex's favorite.

 I tried to get pictures of these 4 beautiful ladies, but it was nearly impossible.

 It was impossible.

 We had saved a few gifts for when Daddy got home and Alex opened a clock for her room that she got to color, a butterfly growing kit, and some lego's from Daddy.  She loves legos.

 Tyler is getting better and better at this all out birthday thing, and he decorated the cake for me!  Alex placed the candles and it tasted a LOT better than last years cake.  I was happy to get a half decent picture everyone together to remember the fun vacation.  Grandma and Grandpa were amazing, washing dishes, helping cook and clean, reading books to kids and putting them to bed..... I felt like I was the one on vacation and wished they could stay forever!

 Alex had lost her second front top tooth a few days before Grandma and Grandpa arrived and today as I write this she lost another of the front top ones, 3 in a row!

 These two have been such goofy little trouble makers lately, In a lot of ways they really are best friends and I'm sorry that with all the fun and late nights and sugar that Grandma and Grandpa got to see a lot of the sourness and fighting.

Wednesday we packed up Grandma and Grandpa and did our scavenger hunt at the Museum before we dropped them off at the airport.  It was a good thing they were there for that because Quinn was an extra handful that day!  Alex bought me a wing necklace for my birthday and it just melted my heart that she had thought to get me anything.  Tyler got me a shirt to replace the one I ruined in the laundry with green crayon, and a nice jacket.  We stopped by Costco on the way home and bought a TON of strawberries instead of a birthday cake, and that night after Quinn was in bed, and while Tyler was studying the girls and I watched the new Tinkerbell movie about the never beast while we ate leftover cake, strawberries and whipped cream.  It was perfect.  I've trained these girls up to be mini me's in a lot of ways and it's just so fun to sit and enjoy special things together.
     Today it snowed, and I had a Midwife appointment.  I'm measuring slightly big and have been referred to a Physical therapist for my hips, which literally feel like they are disconnected.  It was so nice NOT to hear "oh, that just happens in pregnancy, it will go away when the baby comes!" and instead hear "You need to go to PT, that is not normal."  Not that I want it not to be normal, but it's nice to be validated that I'm not just crazy or a whiner.   Alas my feet and lower legs have already begun to swell a bit as well, and I'm afraid that with not being able to move about very much I've almost already gained as much weight at this point now as I did with Quinn the whole pregnancy.  I can feel the little guy moving around and thumping a lot, and I think I'm at 28 weeks today? I should do the math, I don't actually know.  Still too far off.  The girls call him Thomas or Tommy, even Quinn can say it.  I'm not 100% sold yet though but have yet to suggest an alternative and it may be too late.
    Tyler just started his Psych rotation which he was dreading and I couldn't wait for.  I thought it would be fun to hear the stories, but it must be my pregnancy because I don't enjoy them at all and on the flip side he seems to be enjoying the rotation.  So far the hours are great again and even thought he has to drive a good 30 min away we still get him home for dinner every night!!!!! Our Landlord has insisted that we inform him by the end of April if we are staying, and if we decide to move then we must be out the end of July.  This is pretty inconvenient in about 1000 ways but it has sure put a fire under us to figure out a job!  Up until that point I think Pittsburgh was still in the running, in our top 5 even though we do want to leave.  But we know we can't live in this house for another year, we won't fit, and we can't afford to move any of the places in the city we DO want to live/ all our friends are moving to, and I don't want to live in another one of these falling apart 100+ year old houses with little kids.  So I suppose we've sort of officially decided to move in July, but who knows where we will be going?! I can't wrap my head around packing and moving with a tiny newborn, 6 weeks at our evacuation date, but I know everything will work out somehow.
     As the weather gets nicer we start to remember the things we like about the city.  And I'm nervous about leaving my little support network as a postpartum Mom with 3 other kids.  For all it's rough edges, Pittsburgh has become "our" city and we know all our favorite little spots and routes and I'm finally not getting lost without GPS all the time.  We are also discovering lots of new wonders and joys and if the sun would only shine once in a while I think I could stay for another year or two.  But when we think about our future and our goals, staying doesn't fit in to the life we really want to have, and have felt like we have been putting off for the last 8 years, so I suppose it is time.  But then there is God's plan!  And it usually doesn't line up quite with what we want for ourselves anyway it seems. So for now I'm just focusing on finishing school, gaining some mobility through Physical Therapy, and figuring out how to deal with the endless mud coming in from the backyard.

End of February

It seems not much picture worthy is happening lately which makes blogging hard.  I have to actually think of things to say.  It's been either snowing or freezing with terrible windchill for the past few weeks and so we haven't gotten out of the house much.  I hate to drive on the hills when the roads are bad, and when it's windy and cold it's just so miserable buckling everyone into the car 100 times!  Plus the news makes it seem like the temperatures are going to be end of the world terrible or the snow is going to be feet deep and it gets in my head, makes me scared, and gets me to forget I'm a Montana girl and can handle this stuff easily. 
      A couple of weeks ago Quinn was tromping around in her rainboots and tried to climb up the stairs after me.  She fell.  She limped around for a day or two and was fine, then she fell again.  Then I was giving her a piggy back ride down the stairs like I always do and we "fell" together!  Really we slid down the stairs like we were sledding on my bum while I tried to stop us- feet forward, and she was grabbing my neck sking on her tummy- feet back.  Alex and Heidi were walking down the steps at the same time and when we all reached the bottom they were frantically asking for the phone so they could call 911.  Everyone is fine, I let the girls play nurse on my sore body and ended up having a dr. apt the next day anyway for the baby.  All is well, except now Quinn refuses to go up or down the stairs by herself- and I've sworn off carrying anyone up or down that death trap!  It's terrible.  I really can't carry her up the stairs anyway as my hips have turned to jello already and I feel like I'm already doing the 9 months pregnant waddle.
    We have taken it upon ourselves to be the neighborhood snow crew.  Since the days are warmer when it snows and the girls love playing in the growing mounds we go out and shovel for the neighbors until my body aches or Quinn's fingers have gone numb from pulling her gloves off.  She usually does this so she can reach in the bag and throw salt all over our dry porch while I'm preoccupied.  We've been borrowing the neighbors snow shovel because I wouldn't let Tyler buy one we wouldn't use when we were going to probably move this summer. Last year it barely snowed at all but was FREEZING, I'm now finding out that was an odd year and I may not have to brace for the terrible terrible cold like I've been doing.
     Last year we started Alex and Heidi on Brady Academy home school in June just directly after Alex finished all her Kindergarten course work.  I figured our 5 months of travel would mess things up plenty and we needed the extra work in summer to stay on schedule for 1st grade.  Well we did better than I thought and I was surprised to see that we only have 2 weeks left in the math curriculum, and a few more days left in our literature/phonics program!  I suppose we are nearing our 9 months of school mark and should be finishing up, but I was mentally in the Aug- June school track still.  I'm excited for the freedom this is going to give us, I feel like I've "done my duty" and made sure Alex completed the set, accredited 1st grade curriculum.  She has learned everything "they" want you to know if 1st grade and now I can spend the next few months trying out a few of my own things and letter her do a bit more exploring on what kinds of things she wants to learn.  For some reason she loves doing those colorful workbooks you can find and so I'm sure we will pick up a few to keep her practicing math etc.  I'd be tempted to jump into second grade subjects and get ahead once more,  and I'm sure we will venture that direction in our learning,  but we are still so unsure where we are going to be this fall or what we will be doing, and depending on where we go sending Alex and Heidi off is a possibility.  I do anticipate homeschooling again, and I look forward to it- but I also know my attention will have to be split even more as Heidi will need more academic attention as she solidifies her reading and math, plus I will have a newborn attached to my hip- I'm just unsure I can do so unless the conditions are right! 
    Tyler and I have been rolling all the situations and places we could move around in our heads now that we have the luxury of time together.  His new rotation has been heavenly- I get to eat breakfast with him in the morning and a lot of the time is he home for the day by 3 or 4!  We've had family dinner, family scripture study, and family prayer daily plus weekly FHE and Saturday family time together!  He even has time to study for his big end of school test, do a few things around the house and read to the kids everyday.  For the first time in nearly a year I feel like we are once again together as a happy family with a survivable amount of stress!  I'm trying not to get used to the luxury of Tyler, knowing that in 2 weeks with the next rotation everything is going to change, but knowing that spring is near and he only has 2 rotations left makes my heart sing! 
       March is nearly here and we are bracing for birthday month/s.  We try to make birthdays centered on family fun instead of gifts and we may even have Tyler's parents here for Alex's day so we really do have something to look forward to! Alex lost her 3rd tooth last week and it was one of the big front ones.  I was so excited for her but sort of sad to see that little girl smile disappear forever.  She is going to be 7 in a month and she really does seem like she is all grown up!  Alex is pretty particular about what she wears.  Comfort is HUGE for her and so things like jeans, or lose pants or tight pants, cut too high or low, and shirts with the seam in the wrong place or of the wrong material are a no go.  It's nearly impossible to dress her in anything but the few pairs of stretch pants that fit just right and a handful of shirts plus maxi skirts.  She would live in maxi skirts if I would let her leave the house in them.  I'm thinking of taking her to target for her birthday and letting her have a "shopping spree"  where for the first time in her life she gets to choose what her clothes are.  What a huge step!
       Heidi is excited that she will no longer have the "last" birthday.  Her's is in May and baby boy is due in June so this is very exciting.  She has also decided to grow out her bangs- right as Alex's are finally long enough to tuck behind her ear from growing them out.  Groan, here we go again!  She has also reached a new level of stubborn where she feels she is ALWAYS right and will calmly fight you to the death about a subject if she feels she is correct.  It's half hilarious and half obnoxious.   Her top bunk has become a room unto itself- completely full all of the time with books, toys, puzzles, papers and any other treasures she sees fit.  If something is lost, check Heidi's bed.  She claimed all the stationary as her own because she said "I need it, I'm an artist."
      Quinn is slightly less bull headed but not really, maybe I'm just letting her get away with more?  Tyler thinks so.  She is the center of attention and entertainment during every meal and gets her sisters (and father) laughing uncontrollably everyday at dinner.  Tyler calls her his 'Minion' because she often acts just like the Minions from Despicable Me.  She is usually very demanding and we have been pretty insistent on teaching her please.  Yesterday I noticed that the demanding part hadn't stopped but instead of saying "No, No, NO" she now says "PLEASE. please. PLEASE" as she runs off or hits you to get what she wants.  She has become obsessed with Elmo, but every time she sees an electronic device she points and excitedly asks for "bee dooo" in reference to all the Minion clips that Tyler has shown her.  Last week she went to the toy room on her own during school while I was teaching Alex and Heidi, it was amazing, I was so happy that she was playing quietly instead of ripping up worksheets or pulling hair .  Then she walked down the hall saying "gross" with a handful of poop.  She had been exploring in her diaper and left a nice surprise in the toy room as well.  All things considered this hardly phased me, although it did remind me of when Alex pulled a similar stunt at her age and I caught her cooking in the toy kitchen during nap time with the contents of her diaper.
       In general life seems to be getting happier the more uncomfortably I'm feeling physically.  I'm just not sure if this is correlation or causation. 
    

Early February thoughts and an update

One night as we were getting ready for bed I was pitching my idea to Tyler for how we would FINALLY get our lives in control.  I do this every 6 weeks or so, come up with some radical idea that I hope will teach the children gratitude/ teach the house to clean itself etc etc.  This term's idea consisted of stripping the toy room and bedrooms of basically everything not required for life, thereby showing the kids that most of the things they "need" are not needs at all and making them earn these things back one at a time through good behavior.  Tyler talked me down from the ledge and we started discussing the behaviors that we were trying to get rid of, this led us to the realization that it was time Alex got her own room.  Tyler had been suggesting this for months actually but our spare "office" is the room we affectionately call the deep freeze in the winter and I had deemed it uninhabitable for human life.  But bedtime was getting that bad.
      I took a day and dejunked the office.  It was nice throwing things away and finding things and organizing our lives a little more.  Everything had to be moved to either our overflowing room/Tyler's office or the dungeon and this meant a LOT of trips up and down stairs.  So far things are grand.  Alex LOVES having her own tiny room and bookshelf.  Every night she sits on her bed (mattress on the floor) with her bathrobe on to keep out the cold and reads books to herself until she gets sleepy.  She has started reading simple chapter books and loves Amelia Bedelia so in the mornings I usually find her sitting in bed finishing a book she started the night before.  We go to the library a lot now.  She is good at keeping her own space clean and the contention that we are avoiding by keeping the "pickys" and "slobbys" apart is amazing!
       Heidi is absolutely thriving in her own space.  She is pretty good at tuning just about everything out all the time, so most of the time I don't think she really notices that Quinn is even in the room now that she has the top bunk, unless Heidi is bored and wants to keep Quinn awake that is.  When Heidi was on the bottom she had a space between her bed and the dresser that was about 3 inches wide and 12 inches long that she called "the treasury."  She would keep all her tiny treasures there and Quinn knew just where to go to make Heidi mad.  For now at least Heidi can keep all her treasures and books and animals and even herself up out of Quinn's reach and she feels like a Queen.  I anticipate Heidi and Quinn being roommates for quite awhile as they both seem to need constant social interaction, whereas Alex needs time to herself daily.
      Quinn doesn't seem to care about the change except the introduction of a big girl bed for herself.  She taunts us from time to time by getting in and laying under the covers at bed time, but that child isn't going to sleep-train to a big girl bed easily,  I'm not up to the task, and our house is a death trap for night waking Quinn.  I love how effortlessly clean the room looks now that we have moved out a dresser and plenty of stuffed animals and blankets.  I would never have thought we could pull off 3 kids in a room for as long as we did!

      Tyler's truck is having transmission problems and so for the past week we have found ourselves once again a one car family.  It's amazing that we lived this way for 8 years and now after 2 months of having a car per adult and then being thrust back to sharing a vehicle again life seems so difficult!  Since there is no way I can even fathom being his taxi driver with 3 kids in tow, it leaves us homebound once again.  We've taken some freezing walks to avoid cabin fever and were able to enjoy a few snow days- Alex thinks it's her responsibility to shovel the old neighbor lady's walk- only I'm not even sure if she still lives there as we haven't seen her at all since we got back! I think she is probably making someone happy though and it makes me very proud.  I think we would wander the neighborhood more if Quinn would only keep her mittens on.  You really need to cover every inch of skin in order to be even a little warm out here, and even in a snowsuit I can't seem to keep Quinn dressed for very long before she is mostly undone.  This happens in the crib at bed time as well, we have to safety pin her zipper up on her footy PJ's or without fail she has stripped and taken her diaper off before falling to sleep.  I'm tired of changing wet sheets.
        This week I made cookies AND muffins AND dinner every night.  I didn't think such a thing would ever be possible again the way I felt a month ago and it's so nice to be able to compare and SEE that I'm feeling better.  I can feel the little guy kicking a lot of the time and it's still the sweet little thumps instead of the uncomfortable thuds I know will come later.  My hips have started their deterioration but I usually only notice when getting out of bed.  My belly button is officially now a nose.  I feel so huge and super pregnant and then I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and am almost shocked at how not pregnant I look in comparison to how I feel.  It's a long road yet.
         Next week Tyler starts his internal medicine rotation which is located fairly close so hopefully even if the hours are bad it shouldn't be a long commute.  Unfortunately the only parking available is street parking where he would have to feed the meter all day, or a $10 a day parking garage.  It baffles me how these rotations are required and yet how unaccommodating a lot of these places are to the PA students!  On the bright side, Tyler has been treated to lunch daily this month by his current cardiology Doctor.  I told him he is basically living my dream, eating out every day for free at a new place (and these are sit down joints not fast food!)  Sometimes I tease that the best part of my day is hearing what he ate for lunch.
       Homeschool is going well,  Heidi is inspired by Alex's sudden jump into reading (it's all she wants to do anymore) and I've caught her sounding out words in books and teaching Quinn the ABC's  on the chalkboard.  If she weren't so distractible I think she would a lot further by now, but she is still only preschool age so I'm not worried.  Everything comes so easily for Alex that the real trouble is teaching her not to be discouraged when she doesn't get something the first time it's explained.  As we get into more complex math concepts it's fun watching her brain have to stretch to figure things out- she doesn't think it's very fun though.  The kids have decided to teach Quinn the Alphabet and it's signs and sounds and it's just adorable to hear little Quinn saying "A, Ahhhhhh, A" and trying to do the sign.  While I love having my girls home with me and teaching them all of these important basics, in the back of my head I already find myself worried about next year and what we will do.  There is so much more that I want to teach my kids, but being the Mom to 3 as well as the Preschool and First grade teacher makes it very difficult to do well at any of it.  Or at least not 'Pinterest' well.  I've learned to let go of a lot of things but I've also learned that the kids are old enough to pick up a lot of slack and we've made daily chores a part of our school routine which has really helped out.  I really do enjoy homeschool and it is something that I want to continue for the foreseeable future but I'm also starting to see that it will depend a LOT on our situation in 6 months.   Wherever we are I refuse to send Heidi to an all day Kindergarten although I think she would probably enjoy the social interaction and constant entertainment.  I think public school would cause Alex more stress than it would be worth at this age although I can see that in the right school she would excel and learn a lot.  She is very aware when children around her are making bad choices and being inappropriate and it bothers her.  I'm glad she is developing a good moral compass and it gives me hope that she will be less of a sponge if put into the school system.  Quinn is a tornado to put it nicely.  She likes throwing play dough and dumping crayons and coloring on the wall.  She won't play alone and needs constant attention from someone.  She loves destroying the older girl's school work.  We love her and she makes us laugh a lot, but we all really enjoy nap time.
      The other day Alex picked up a calendar we had of Jesus and started reading the scriptures passages written on the various days.  She was so excited about this that we gave her a Book of Mormon of her very own and she has treasured it.  She reads a verse a day to the family which has gotten Heidi excited as well and so now she wants to read us our scriptures at night.  Each morning after breakfast we read a chapter in the BOM and talk about what is being said.  While the girls might start out bored or upset that we are doing scriptures, by the end they are always squished one on each side as we talk about what is going on.  These are the best moments of my day.  Alex has also added a subject to her folder regimen every day on her own accord.  She reads a chapter in the children's Book of Mormon stories comic type book and then does a corresponding page in a 'Discovering the scriptures' workbook I got last year.  Yesterday we had a discussion about who was a better leader Zeniff or Kind Benjamin and today she announced out of the blue that Abinadi was her favorite prophet!  It's these moments that lay aside all my doubts about whether homeschool is right for our family.  The freedom to choose writing assignments and spelling words from the scriptures, or take an hour and talk about how Nephi saw a vision of the founding of America and how God had a hand in the pilgrims and Columbus coming across the ocean.  It offsets the bad days for sure.

      So here we are in almost the same spot we were in 2 years ago.  Pregnant and anticipating a move.  I don't know if my 'nesting' is due to impending baby or desire to de junk and rid ourself of the unnecessary before packing boxes cloud our judgment.  We are great at accumulating things and our dungeon seems full of things that I just need to "go through" and donate or sell.  I've set some goals though and I already feel our lives are bit less cluttered which is so nice.  Tyler will be done with tutoring this weekend and we can start to focus on preparing for the big exam and getting his resume in order.  Big changes are coming!
   

It's a BOY!!!

So it's a boy!

It's been 2 days since we found out, we cut open a cake because the girls insisted that this is how we find out.  It wasn't until later that I realized that they thought this is how everyone finds out the gender of a baby, the Dr. gives them a cake and then they get to cut it open to find out.  It was fun decorating and making cupcakes and having friends over for the big reveal!  I think everyone was sort of voting for a boy except at the last minute Heidi decided she wanted another sister, so she could see Daddy cry.
   People keep commenting on how relieved I must be, how excited, how happy I must be that I FINALLY get my boy.  It's easy to agree and go on with these conversations, and I am happy we are having a boy, but I would have been happy with a girl as well.  With Alex I was so sure the baby would be a boy that we were shocked at the ultrasound.  With Heidi I think I knew all along somehow and with Quinn I was so terrified at the thought of having a boy that I was so relieved when we cut that cake and saw pink!  This pregnancy I've been wavering.....

     I know girls by now.  What they wear, how they think, the hair, the drama, the cuteness.  I can picture myself holding a baby girl in the hospital because I've done it 3 times!  Girls are familiar, girls are comfortable.  If we had another girl then they could all share rooms the rest of their lives.  All the clothes would remain the familiar shades of pink and purple, and I could keep oohing and awing at the adorable little dresses at the stores.  I almost feel cheated- or feel that maybe Alex will eventually feel cheated, because when I had my first little girl, I had no clue what I was doing.  We got hand me downs and so I used hand me downs.  Clothes were to cover the child up- not provide a fashion statement to the world about our entire family.  Baby hair was a mystery and things like tiny little hair rubber bands were not in my sphere of awareness until Heidi was born.  I feel like either the world has changed in the last 6 years or maybe I've just changed, but I think that if I started having kids now, they would be a lot "prettier" as babies.

I came across this conclusion while thinking about the timeline of my life.  Highschool was an odd time for me.  I wore my older brother's polo shirts and random ties with converse shoes (before it was cool for girls to wear ties and converse).   I was in art club and went to concerts on the weekend.  My hair was long and straight and either in a ponytail or worn down.  I was trying to figure out who I was. I entered college I still barely wore makeup, I had a roommate who introduced me to the benefits of doing hair and wearing pretty clothes, and after I married Tyler I was still trying to figure out my hair (let's be honest, I still am) pregnancy and baby threw me into a whole new world that did not include things like makeup or dressing for success- that I feel that I'm still trying to figure out.  I sometimes I feel like I'm going to be 50 before I learn how to do makeup or match clothing.             Anyway, back to girls.  Having girls has taught me about girls and what things I need to learn so I can teach them.  I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job of raising spunky little girls that can look nice, but understand it's more important to be kind than pretty.  We have our share of 'clothes drama' especially on Sunday morning, but these gals aren't obsessed with clothing and styles and jewelry like it seems so many other kids their age are.

    But a boy.  Boys are different, they don't stop moving and they hit.  I thank Quinn for blazing the trail for our son because all my fears of having a little boy 2 years ago come to pass through her.  She has shown me that anger, violence and nonstop movement are not necessarily "boy" traits, I just had 2 really calm first children.  Boys aren't accessorized so easily to be made cute, and I feel like I'm finally getting a hang of ponytails and hair clips.  Any boy clothes these days, sheesh! It's all skulls or dinosaurs if you are going generic boy, or you can start early and brand your boy as a punk with all the right t-shirts, beanies and shoes, or a little gentleman with tiny suits, ties and sweater vests.  Every outfit I see these days seems to shout something!   We've been so immune with the girls because of hand me downs- we've had to purchase almost nothing, and the hand me downs I haven't approved of have just gone the way of DI without a second glance.  With 3 older sisters stacked against him, I already feel this pressure to put my fetus in sports,  find playgroups with lots of boys so he can get his man time in, and try an understand the scouting program.  So when people ask if I'm so excited to have a boy......... I don't know!

      I don't want him to read this someday and think he was unwanted, on the contrary we've been waiting for him for 6 years!  We are happy to complete our family and finally get Tyler his little sidekick he's been wanting for so long.  Alex especially is over the moon about a brother, and Heidi is as well.  We are excited at all the new adventures a boy will bring, and all the changes.  I feel as though now that he is finally on his way that this phase of our life might finally be over- the pregnant phase- and that is both exciting and a little sad.  I hate being pregnant, and it gets worse every time, but I love those little babies and how slow life gets when you are just trying to survive those first few months.  Watching the little ones grow and learn is so fun- and thinking that this is my last time is a little sad.  But on the other hand the freedom that will come once my body is my own again!  In the past 7 years I've only had a few months where I was not either pregnant or nursing, I'm excited to be able to maintain myself and not constantly struggle with the gaining and losing of weight and all the body changes at the same time.  And yet that's been the norm since my early 20's.  I'm a bit afraid of what life might be like next, a step into the unknown.
     This year I will turn 30, have my 4th child and first boy, Tyler will graduate from school and hopefully we will settle into longterm employment for the first time in our marriage. We will move somewhere potentially of our choosing, and maybe even set down roots.  In a way we will be starting the life that I imagined came once you got married, a house, neighborhood, job, long term friends, kids, the whole bit- it's just taken us 8 years to get there (minus the kids).  I wouldn't trade our experiences for anything and I've learned so much in my 20's, but I am excited to finally be there, to be nearing the finish line I've been gazing at for so long.
       So a boy.  If I'm being honest with myself, I've never bonded with any of my children until they were outside my body.  The first 20 weeks I've always struggled with remembering the sickness is because of a baby and not being bitter.  Once we find out the gender and can start imagining our lives and choosing names, things get a little easier.  And not even those first moments in the hospital can i say I have an instant connection.  So little boy it's not you, it's me.  I have no doubt that 5 minutes into holding you I will be madly in love and share you with no one.  Until that point I'm just going to focus on getting to that point, and start getting excited for all our rowdy adventures.