Tommy- The Birth

Wednesday June 10^th I went in for my Midwife appointment at 9 am.  There wasn’t a lot going on but I asked her to strip my membranes and when she was done she declared me dilated to a solid 4 and 70 % effaced.  On the way home I called Grandma Asay to tell her to get the kids in their swimsuits and pack a lunch because we sere going to meet Jen and her kids at Raccoon Creek State Park and go to the “beach” that afternoon.  

 

    We packed up and drove the 40 min to a beautiful tree lined lake with a man made beach and grassy park.  I sat myself down in the shade and enjoyed the next 4 hours of kids making sandcastles, and splashing around and watching Grandma swim with the kids.  The water and weather were perfect, it was such a fun time!  I had been having sporadic contractions that were the tiniest bit painful during that time but it was when we packed up at 3 that I started timing them in the car.  About 8 minutes apart and not very distracting, but I did have to chuckled to myself after successfully navigating the crazy bridge changes right out of the tunnel, in rush hour traffic, while having a contraction- a feat I would have declared impossible 2 years ago.

      We got home and unpacked, made dinner and I decided that  if this was the real thing then I had better get to the grocery store so Grandma and the kids would have food the next few days!  I was hoping Tyler would be home by then so I could send him, but the contractions were still not super painful and still only 7 min apart, and I wasn’t convinced they were the real thing.  So I zipped down to Giant Eagle and got everything on the list without a single problem, I was actually disappointed because I figured moving around had stopped everything.  I got home as Tyler was taking the trash out and as we were bringing the groceries in I had to stop for a moment and he asked jokingly “What are you in labor or something?”  I said “Yeah I think I might be actually.”  We put the groceries away and got the kids into bed- Quinn insisted on having Mom there to sing and read to her in her big girl bed- it was sweet, and pretty uncomfortable with my big belly. 

      I went downstairs to talk to my Mom and google breathing techniques for labor- just in case- and drank some water while we talked about a plan for “if this were the real thing.”  The night before neither Tyler or I had slept very well so we decided to call it a night and head to bed at about 9.  While we were laying in bed I realized that the contractions were starting to hurt more, I couldn’t talk through them anymore and realized that I wasn’t going to be able to go sleep like this even though I was exhausted.  Tyler timed a few and they were closer to 5 minutes so I called the midwife and asked what she thought.  She said to hang out until I felt ready so I decided to try a bath.   The bath was great but I have such a limited tolerance for being submerged in warm water- I could tell it was helping with the contractions but I just couldn’t lay there any longer!  I got up to take a shower and with that change of gravity everything hit hard.  I told Tyler to start timing and we may want to get ready to go, and then sat the bed trying to recover as they kept hitting and lasting longer.  I really didn’t want to have to go in early so I stalled and finally in the middle of a contraction Tyler stopped rubbing my back, stood up and said “This is ridiculous, we should have left already, lets go!”  So we grabbed the bag (I’d finally packed it that morning in case we did have to go to the hospital from the beach) and headed in the truck.

     I’d been getting through the contractions by counting and had noticed that at first I could get to 15 and that is when the pain would start to subside, by the time we got to the hospital it was closer to 30.  Tyler dropped me off and I sat on a bench listening to Josh Groben sing a song that made me think of my Dad so there I was counting contractions with tears running down my face and some crazy guy mumbling and pacing back and forth in front of me.  We made it to labor and delivery with only a few stops to lean against the wall, and checked in in-between contractions.  I swear the effort of signing my name to those million forms sent me into a contraction every time, and it was only when I could relax and lean back and focus that the pain seemed to subside.  The midwife Tami came in and checked me and declared me an 8!  I was so happy/ slightly disappointed that there were 2 cm to go.  They asked if I still wanted to try natural and at that moment I totally wavered.  These were painful, and breathing through them was getting hard, I was having a hard time keeping control of my breathing which made them hurt worse.  But I decided I could try a little longer and walked down the long hall to my labor and delivery room, stopping to hold up the wall a few times on the way.  The nurses were great and seemed to know just what to say to help me make it a few more minutes.  Things like “Is this the 8 walking down the hall right now?”  “Yeah and she hasn’t made a peep the entire time!”  I guess I hadn’t thought about moaning or groaning, I was just so focused on counting.  It helped me fight a few more minutes and made me feel tough. 

      After what seemed like an hour, but was probably only 15 minutes in my new room, I asked to be checked and was sadly still an 8.  I said “What can I do to make this go faster” and the midwife suggested getting out of bed.  I really didn’t want to because I was so exhausted.  When I could sit and relax things were so much easier, whenever I flexed my abs or strained it started off another contraction and they were so miserable at that point.  I got on the ball and just wanted to lean forward against the bed but the dumb monitors couldn’t pick up baby’s heartbeat and they had to keep me monitored because of the VBAC.  I tried leaning back against Tyler, which felt great, but was NOT good for his back.  At that point I was starting to feel things happening, but I was afraid to be checked again and told I was still an 8 so I held off a few more contractions while I finally did start to moan and groan and just wanted to cry.  I was having a hard time focusing because the pain was lasting until I counted to 40 or 50 now and so it was almost too daunting a task to start counting each time one started.   On top of it all I felt like throwing up at the peak of each contraction, and they were so close I only had a minute or so between that was only if I held perfectly still.  

     A nurse came in and Tyler said I felt like maybe it was time to push so they checked and lo and behold I was a 9.75!  The midwife started getting things ready and told me I could do little practice pushes to get me to a 10 while they suited up and then it was time to push!  My water was still intact and she asked if I wanted it broken, I asked “Will it hurt less when it breaks?”  and she said “It will hurt less when the baby comes out.”  Honestly what had gotten me to that point was that I had talked to a few friends who had given birth naturally and said that pushing was he least painful part, it was just getting there through the contractions.  They said adrenaline carried them through the end.  Well that was NOT the case for me!  I started to push and the pain started and would NOT stop.  At one point I yelled “He’s stuck! He’s never coming out!” I was in a different world, eyes closed, yelling, crying, screaming, I’m sure It was insane to watch but Tyler (thinks Kristen is absolutely amazing and did a fantastic job. He thinks Kristen is the best) is keeping silent on the topic.  There was a moment of relief and I thought I was done when the midwife said, “Ok, great job! Now it’s time to push his shoulders out” And I thought I would die.   I just remember pushing until I thought I couldn’t anymore, and then pushing until I was sure I was destroying my body and then pushing with everything I had, feeling like I was turning my body inside out and sure it still wasn’t enough but knowing it had to be.  Finally with the last push he slipped and kicked his way out and they put him on my belly. 

     I was a bit traumatized, his cord was short and he was on my belly and I wanted everyone and everything to walk away from my legs and the pain and that umbilical chord was rubbing placed I didn’t want to be touched.  I probably looked wild eyed and panicked as I held him and just moaned and moaned and tried to focus on the baby and not the stitching and things that were still happening below. 

     We got to hold him the entire 2 hours we were in that room which was great except we were so exhausted and I kept thinking “They better take this baby before I nod off and drop him.”  There had been 9 babies born in 2 hours and so there was a bit of a scramble for nurses and rooms and such but our delivery nurse was so great.  We were walked to our room and Tyler slept while I ate a sandwich and Tommy got his first bath right there next to my bed.  It was almost like this great spa where you get to lay around and relax while other people take care of your kids. 

     In the daylight hours of the morning, Tyler went to get the kids and Grandma and brought them to the hospital.  We had done facetime earlier and I overheard this conversation between Heidi and Alex.....

         Alex was overly excited about coming to the hospital to see her baby brother.  Heidi was excited at the possibility of a zoo trip with Grandma. Heidi- “Alex, but don’t you want to see the baby gorilla?”  Alex- “Don’t YOU want to see your baby brother?!!!!!”

       They came and Alex was overjoyed to hold him, while Heidi wanted to see what kind of crackers and things were in the room, and Quinn wanted to climb all over me, snuggle and eat my breakfast.  They stayed for awhile and Heidi bawled when it was time to go, she seemed to have a hard time while I was away and was a big factor in my deciding to only spend one night at the hospital.  The other factors were that those hospital beds are torture on my back!  Nurses ONLY come to check on you when you are about to fall asleep, and the food wasn’t that great.  Having only delivered it UVRMC in Utah, I didn’t really know how other hospitals compared,  Magee was pretty good,  but the hospital in Provo really was like a vacation spa in comparison,  at UVRMC they anticipated my needs before I had them, at Magee I had to fight just to get my Motrin every 8 hours.

       Friday evening Tyler fought through rush hour on the hottest muggiest day ever to pick me up from the hospital.  The nurses didn’t check wristbands or anything as we smuggled our child out of the room and hospital.  I got home to 3 excited kids and a hot but clean (thank you mom) house and proceeded to have the first of a few “baby blues moments.”  Heat makes me crazy, I was in a bit of pain, and going from air-conditioned peace and quiet to bedtime with the 3 crazies plus a 2 day old was a bit too much.  We couldn’t have done it without Grandma, she was vital those first few days- heaven sent.

      Now that I’ve had a few weeks to process it all, I’m amazed how much of the process I’ve forgotten.  It’s been just over 2 weeks and we have adjusted to this new life.  I don’t remember the pain of the contractions, and the final pushes are a fading memory.  My hip pain has returned to some degree since I’ve been unable to do the exercises, but other than that, and my gooshy tummy, I barely feel like I was ever pregnant.    Tommy is the perfect baby-  he only ever cries when he has needs and even then it takes awhile to get him worked up and doesn’t last long.  We have been very blessed and are all so much happier now that Tommy is here and Mommy feels like a human again!